Hey! Did you know this weekend is Valentine’s Day? Those crazy kids at House & Home sure did, and it’s a romance-themed section all the way from the lede about what, exactly, giving your house keys to your significant other means—you love them/you want to marry them/you think they’re ultra-superfly—and what might happen once you do—you break up/they break in/they eat your food/they set your cat on fire—to the final axel. Further twisting the knife into our lonelyheart, the next feature is an At Home With (always one of our invasive favorites) Hannah Holmes, author of “The Well-Dressed Ape: A Natural History of Myself” and all-around oxytocin- and dopamine-dropping charmer who just got married and renovated a house in a hormone-greased haze. And then! Just when we thought it couldn’t get any more saccharine, Natalya and Eugene Kasper’s SoHo loft—unearthed by Official Edificial Top Five-to-Seven Mimi Zeiger!—makes us jealous for real estate rather than feelings. And so, there we were, starting to feel a bit inconsolable, blue, Dumpy McGrumptown, when this shining fire of an electric log swooped in to save the section and our day. Steven Kurutz, the bargainer of a few weeks back, investigates The Case Of The Roll-n-Glow Amish Space Heater, and it is tremendous. Elsewhere, Mike Birbiglia tries out some blankets, something vaguely useful about fire extinguishers, and, of course, Stuff-You-Can-Buy. And now, our scores:

Eva: 4.8, 5.7, 3.8, 6.0, 4.6, 3.5, 3.7
Ian: 5.2, 4.5, 2.9, 5.6, 3.8, 4.6, 5.1

Happy Valentine’s Day. We’ll be practicing our triple-lutz. For ourselves.

Love at the Door [New York Times]
Biology, Romance and Renovation [New York Times]
Undoing the Cover-Up [New York Times]
Amish Space Heater: Is That an Oxymoron? [New York Times]
Sleepwalkers, Take Notice [New York Times]
Fire Extinguishers From A to C [New York Times]